Just plain ole nasty

Iraz the Turkish waiter

When did the world become so rude? It now seems positively acceptable for people to be rude. The girl on the returns desk at a high street store, like as if I wanted the silk to tear like that, causing embarrassment in a sensitive moment. It's the norm, I've came to expect just as I would the cheek of the Turkish waiters as they flirt with your other half or how when at the end of a concert its one big push to leave. But it should be easy to be nice, however the gym is no exception to the rude rigmarole. The tirade of rudeness extends even there. As it turns out my gym card doesn't work properly so I can't swipe in to gain access to the utopia that is my local gymnasium. Meaning I have to trouble myself each time I go with the irksome task of going to the front desk and asking to go to the gym.

As sure as oeufs is oeufs the receptionist glowers at me as I stride gayley en route to the desk as if I have a cheek to disturb her conversation with the handyman. It's near enough always the same receptionist yet she does the same tedious sequence each time. Takes the card, swipes it, talks some more to handyman bob, looks back at the screen and "tut". She TUTS, at me, with my large smile and friendly air she feels the need to darken my day with a TUT! Every time......because you see, I have a hall booking on my membership which flags upon her screen, she explains. This is why I can't swipe in. I know this, this happens every freaking time I go and has been happening for the last two months yet here she is explaining it in her monotonous agitated voice, Again. Eventually after some explaining she says "I'll let you in but I'll have to speak to someone regarding this". She never does, I know this and so does she. Meaning each time I want to train I have to go through this annoying sequence of events again and again.

Once in the changing room it's no different though. I usually go for the same locker because I can't be bothered wearing a stupid plastic strap around my wrist, you see guys trying to rock this look and inevitably failing. So I choose the locker with just the key which is so much cooler. Unfortunately for me and of course the girl who chose the locker below mine, my locker is somewhat high. I like it, It saves me from leaving things which is a habit of mine. However for low locker girl, it's a tad bothersome that I am at my locker getting things in and out when she wants to be in her locker getting things in and out. Apart from the obvious drawbacks, my crotchal region would be in her face if she bent down, A fan as I am to going butt naked in the changing room. This could prove dangerous say someone walks in and thinks we are performing a sex act, we could be locked up, the key thrown away. Our names in the papers, publicly humiliated. I don't suppose she could just wait maybe? But no she doesn't she attempts an elasta girl move with her right arm, crouching face away from me against the lockers. Why can't she just say excuse me???? Really is it so hard? So here I am minding my own business, head in my locker as I feel something touch my left leg. "Oh" I say, "would you like me to let you in?", "Aye, could you" she says. I was slightly taken aback by her tone, I'd hoped for a genteel, "yes please" (Yes ok maybe her education is somewhat lacking) so I say, "Only be a second" and have a rummage in my bag, stopping every few seconds to sigh and say, "hmmm, where is it". I do this until I know she is seconds away from chibbing me, I get quite scared, I move back. But inside I am absolutely reeling, I can't get over how rude people can be and not realise it. I see no need, I see no benefits from it, I wish I was mental enough to rugby tackle her and explain in a polite manner that she should learn some manners. Smile for goodness gracious, say hello, be polite, especially if you're paid to be. Why pay forward your own bad mood, it's particularly selfish. But it's the fashion babayyy, it's the trend these days. Being obnoxiously rude is de rigueur and we wouldn't not want to follow a trend now......

Mobile nuisance

A new evil has came to my attention at the gym recently, something that really gets up my nose. Mobile phones........ Now, I don't mind so much if you use them to listen to music because let's be honest, I couldn't do 5 minutes on the treadmill without some Cliff Richard, Elton John and co. I do however use an MP3 player because I'm old school.
  No what annoys me is people who take calls, or text or facebook whilst "doing a workout". Only the other day I was running on my favourite treadmill scoping out the talent, I mean.... Looking for material for this blog when, JACKPOT two girls come into the gym, early 20's make up on, wouldn't know a dumbbell from a cheeseburger. They slowly doddle to the water fountain and have a ickle chat, then they take on the mahooosive task that is the x-trainer. I watch, as yet no such juice. But I am not to be disappointed because the slightly lazier looking of the two takes a phone call, I run, patiently watching, as I expect her to have a quick word "No, I'm in the gym, call you back" but noooooooo the wee phone using pleb gets off the x-trainer and stands next to it. She continues her phone call for the next 46 minutes, firstly standing next to the x-trainer and then following her pal around the gym as she used the machines. WHY? Why, Why couldn't she just step outside the gym? Also if I was her pal I'd have been raging and embarrassed by her ridiculous antics.

Then there's the guy I see in the gym a lot, he nods to me sometimes, recognising we have a shared interest, we work out, we train often and we train hard, not like the come and goers. It's like when you ride a motorcycle and nod to other motorcycles (whilst also checking out if yours is better) I had some respect for this guy, he never struck me as anything other than a regular normal gym goer, but is there any such thing? I was walking around the gym to my next set when boooof, I am body checked by a vest wearing sweaty man, sweat going everywhere onto my nice pink gym gear. I'm genuinely taken by surprise when I look up and it's regular gym goer man, but..... with and extension to his arm in the form of a mobile phone. He had been too busy texting as he stepped back from a machine into my path. He completed his text message and hit send. Before I got a small apology. Me the idiot apologised too, then harshly scolded myself for it, why do we do that? I must bee too nice. So all respect out the window for you texter dude.

Worst of all my mobile phone/gym hates is the Facebooker, I am in all honesty a facebook fanatic but seeing as my phone shall remain in the gym locker I do not post whilst actually in the gym. Sitting on the bike the other day I happened to glance (no I wasn't being nosey) at the boy beside me on his phone, I could see what he was writing, "Tearing up the gym, here comes the pain train baby toot toot", I am not making this sh*t up. The boy was about 9.5 stone, I could bench press him. He was on the recumbent cycle at level 3!!! I laughed, out loud, then pretended to point at something on the tv screen. It really cheered me up that this little reject of a boy would actually look like a beast after writing that as his status. Like he actually did some work as opposed to writing about it. I was expecting him to jump off that bike and hulk stylee rip the gym to peices, hurling equipment everywhere. Unfortunatley he just got off the bike after 5 mins and left. Geez a break man!

Freaking Freezing

This is wrong!

Brrrrrrrr, it's cold out there. It's like the weather has changed overnight. Yesterday it wasn't even jumper season, Today....... it's jumper season. I'll say for one thing, it isn't half hard to drag your carcass out from a warm cozy 13.5 tog duvet for a workout session. This is the time when you need it most. Our body craves the carbohydrates at this time of year and it loves the fact that "not a bare leg in sight" is the order of the day, thick socks, tights and boots. No need to slap on the fake tan or shave your legs It stocks up for the winter so to speak, slowly and sneakily adding a few millimeters to our body fat, just to tide us over to the spring, a modern form of hibernation if you like.
  RUBBISH! You do not have to succumb to the Nazi regime, get out that winter slump and get a grip. Who's in charge here? Are you gonna give in? Yeah fair enough your skin may not see the light of day until at least April, the sexiest piece of clothing your poor other half may see you in is a snuggie (monstrosity of an invention). But come on! You have Christmas nights out to go do, dresses to wear. You also will have a harder job to work off the layers of adipose in the spring.
On a more dreaded note; There is a monster in us ladies, at least 85% of us, and the circumstances that this Monster thrives on is layer upon layer of clothing hiding it's existence, cosy nights in front of the TV with a glass of wine, Caffeine, fatty foods, Christmas puds,  not enough water..... It's called Cellulite, Orange peel, Cottage cheese, mattress phenomenon.... even pot hole ass? So right there is your biggest most defining reason to get a grip this winter and don't be a sap. Honestly when I go onto a certain social networking sit and see " Aw it's cold", "Aw the weather is crap", "Aw it's Monday", "Gonna have a duvet day" I am sickened by the wimpishness of people. Toughen up for peat's sake. Grow a freaking pair.
 It's hilarious the excuses people make up to get out of training at this time of year. I had one person texting me to cancel a training session because their heating had packed in and the house would be cold. Seriously not gonna happen. "I'm pretty sure you will be glad you have no heating when we start training" was my reply, and do you know what? She was.
  Not one to go on about something though, but what is it about people complaining of the cold, dark dreary mornings? I'm sick to the back teeth of how easily defeated people are. It's the exact same thing as people complaining that the air conditioning in the gym has packed in and it's too warm and they're too sweaty. Fair one we pay a membership for the maintenance of the gym but remember.........It's a gym, you are there to sweat, to smell, to be warm and to burn calories. That's the whole point. It just saves wearing a bin bag under your gym gear to get inch loss on your stomach (only ex football players or referees ever do this, it's hilariously pointless as you rustle about the gym).
  I realise I am beginning to go off on one. So until next time.............