Crop Tops and Cattyness

Crop Tops! There here with a vengeance, apparently this summer anyone who is anyone will be wearing a crop top. But really, theres not gonna be many any anyones out there, is there? Even though my stomach is flat I certainly won't be wearing one (well we shall see). I mean, come on. . . even your skinniest of skinniest girls now have muffin tops. I cringe when I see females showing off the stomach area in a bid to show more flesh, I can't fathom how some girls thing they can do this and it would be attractive, maybe i'm all about high standards but i'm not that bad. so heres is some advice. If your want to show your stomach this is what to do. Slightly lower your carbohydrate intake, ditch the chocolate, the crisps, forget easter, your take-aways. Infact the only carbs you should have is All Bran in the morning with soya milk. Have a probiotic everyday, get a body brush and scrub that tum, buy a toning cream. Get a decent fake tan, do a 4 mile run a day with 500 real sit ups and POW! Stomach of your dreams. It's easy isn't it? NOT! So if you do decide to be a fashion victim then please get with the programme and be honest with yourself ask a pal for honest advice as just doing sit ups wont do diddly if your abs are hidden under 3 inches of adipose. Not only that, one of the clubs in Glasgow now has jacuzzis in it. With a shop where you can buy a bikini, so really us girls are not getting to hide much these days are we. What happened to "Leave it to the imagination" I admit it, i'm no prude but I certainly believe in the rules. . . . You know the ones i'm talking about. . . . . . . You don't? . . . . Oh well I better explain. A girl should choose one or the other to show off, her cleavage . . . . or her legs. So the rule goes, if your out wearing a belt for a skirt please wear a respectable top, Or vice versa. So Bla

Skipping Sensations

As you know I can go off on a bit of a rant from time to time, well today's post is a bit different, nothing has annoyed me, I'm not on my high horse (or pony as some of you funny buggers out there like to put it) I was in the gym this morning, running away on the treadmill with my Ipod plugged into it. I had the biggest smile on my face and was letting out a giggle every now and then. I have a reputation amongst the gym staff that I laugh at people, well it is totally unjustified because as it turns out, when they thought I was laughing at people I was actually laughing at you've been framed (honest). But today I was laughing at someone (yes I'm ashamed)I know it isn't fair but really I couldn't help it. Someone was on "my treadmill" (talk about this another time)so I had to take another one, one that doesn't quite have the same view I'm accustomed to. This particular treadmill has a view of the exercise studio and in that studio was a man in a grey t-shirt (great sweating colour)he had in his hands a skipping rope, but no, he wasn't skipping. Instead he was waving the ropes in a figure of eight in front of him, stern look on his face. I think he was psyching himself up because after a minute of doing ridiculously stupid patterns with the ropes he went for it, the skip, that first one, always the hardest, most challenging of all skips. Especially to this guy. He failed. . . fell forward a wee bit then started the flailing with the rope again. Another minute passed and as I watched again, there he goes, 1. . . 2 . . . 3. . . Ah Boll*cks. A small spurt of laughter erupts from my mouth. It's a free country OK! AGAIN with the stupid rope dance thing. This time after his minute of nothing he gets at least 5 skips and looks like a 5 year old girl with pigtails in a playground before stumbling aimlessly over the rope. 15 minutes he tried, and tried again, each time he failed he started his rope waving p*sh. When he did get anywhere near a skip the most he got was 8 jumps, ah mean come on! If he had spent 14 of those minutes actually trying to skip and not whipping a rope about the floor, maybe. . .Just maybe he could do 10 skips. Meanwhile I'm trying to catch my training partners eye as he is doing his weights, I have this freakishly happy grin on my face and keep making eyes at the studio for him to look. He is too busy in "the zone". It just tickled me, that's all.