Crop Tops and Cattyness

Crop Tops! There here with a vengeance, apparently this summer anyone who is anyone will be wearing a crop top. But really, theres not gonna be many any anyones out there, is there? Even though my stomach is flat I certainly won't be wearing one (well we shall see). I mean, come on. . . even your skinniest of skinniest girls now have muffin tops. I cringe when I see females showing off the stomach area in a bid to show more flesh, I can't fathom how some girls thing they can do this and it would be attractive, maybe i'm all about high standards but i'm not that bad. so heres is some advice. If your want to show your stomach this is what to do. Slightly lower your carbohydrate intake, ditch the chocolate, the crisps, forget easter, your take-aways. Infact the only carbs you should have is All Bran in the morning with soya milk. Have a probiotic everyday, get a body brush and scrub that tum, buy a toning cream. Get a decent fake tan, do a 4 mile run a day with 500 real sit ups and POW! Stomach of your dreams. It's easy isn't it? NOT! So if you do decide to be a fashion victim then please get with the programme and be honest with yourself ask a pal for honest advice as just doing sit ups wont do diddly if your abs are hidden under 3 inches of adipose. Not only that, one of the clubs in Glasgow now has jacuzzis in it. With a shop where you can buy a bikini, so really us girls are not getting to hide much these days are we. What happened to "Leave it to the imagination" I admit it, i'm no prude but I certainly believe in the rules. . . . You know the ones i'm talking about. . . . . . . You don't? . . . . Oh well I better explain. A girl should choose one or the other to show off, her cleavage . . . . or her legs. So the rule goes, if your out wearing a belt for a skirt please wear a respectable top, Or vice versa. So Bla

Off the wagon

Everyone falls off the wagon at some point, and yes, I mean everyone, even me. So I have a blow out every blue moon (sue me)Let me tell you what to do if you find yourself in that situation, I will also explain what not to do. Once upon a time I fell off the wagon with a vengeance. I was actually that bad I woke up to answer the door in the morning to the UPS guy.(delivering health supplements ha ha ha)"Little Miss Fitness?", I force out a grunt and as I stand there I notice my pyjamas back to front. It also occurred to me that I had in fact kept up to date with my food diary by scribbling in a 3yr olds handwriting "Vodka x3, Tia Maria x3, Baileys x3, Wine, Champagne" on the drinks, dinner and snacks columns. There was also some illegible print which I later translated to Chicken, Melon and Cheesecake. So Ladies and Gentlemen, I will give you all this one bit of advice, even though you get in at 5am, totally and utterly trollied, you should still take the time to write in your food diary so you can reflect on your intake over a week. It really does help with the guilt and the shamefulness when you look at that writing and think, those words we have all said to ourselves a thousand times "I am never drinking again". I mean what will my clients think? . . . . . . Especially when I don't even like Tia Maria, Baileys or Melon. But hey! We learn something new every day. The biggest mistake though is when you book a Personal Training client for 8am at Strathclyde park, realising there is not a hope in hell you can drive there, so you run, and when you arrive (if you ever do) the alcohol in your blood stream has heated up to 37 degrees and soaked through your clothes, so now you smell distinctly of a brewery as you saunter green faced up to your client that you have told off a hundred times about the effects of binge drinking on the liver.......Good example Nats, Well done.